this is hard to say but...

next time i see you i think i want it to be the last time. Im gonna make sure those two days we are together are amazing and leave us with memories to cherish but i cant continue as we are. This is so hard - not only am i leaving you but im leaving ur family, my second family.

I dont know what to do. Im not gonna tell you, you will ask too many questions tht even I cant answer myself. I dont understand the logic behind this and if i dont you certainly wont. Also, if i told you the goodbye would be twice as hard...im so bad at goodbyes. I want our relationship/friendship to be remembered in a good way, in a happy way. I know you dont read this but i hope you understand or at least accept this wish babe and i promise you our two days together will be just like they used to be, and i will slip away leaving 'us' as I always wanted us to stay.

I think a bit of the logic behind this is im just too scared of you leaving me, Im doing this to save my own heart from pain. I will miss u crazily for the 1st few months. but it will get easier and i hope for both our sakes you wont notice.

I cant wait to see you, not long now. It will be a blast. Please understand me and dont make this any harder for me

xxxxxxx